If I win at the table's I'm gonna:
-rent everyone superhero outfits so we can "dress appropriately" for the 99 cent buffet.
-buy lots and lots of flowers from my krishna buddies
-hire a PI to find BRUCE FROHMAN!!!
-buy pete another duster, and dan another big green tank
-get donna some singing lessons, and julie some "pillow talk" lessons
-buy michelle a slutty leather biker outfit
-buy boxes and boxes of expensive liquor, and give it to homeless guys
-buy off Emeril the cooking guy for a night and have him make Buffalo wings and fried dough, without a shirt on (sound effects courtesy of Dio)
baby needs a new pair of shoes!
Yeah? Well, If I win at the table's I'll:
-fund a ten-year anniversary revival of the nationally acclaimed production of Virginia Mele's epic opus, "Anne of the Thousand Days" with the original cast.
-fly to Paris where I can sit out in cafes all day, write and go without showering and not have anyone get mad at me for it.
-buy dan a dictionary.
-buy pete a real chain-mail vest since he never finished that one he started.
-buy donna tv advertising spots to hype her 1-900 psychic friends number.
-buy chris a clue.
-buy michelle a blow up doll that looks like pete, and outfit it with that long, luxurious hair pete used to sport -- sexy.
-buy everyone tickets to the gay cat guys show. I like sequines.
-buy little prince outfits for my cats, complete with flowing velvet robes and little gold crowns.
hey what's up to all the leather and blow-up doll references to me??? what happened to your perception of nice sweet innocent me????
VIVA!
Donna, not to spoil the fun, but the three of us guys have you pegged as the first one to hook up in Vegas. Go to work, girlfriend, go to work!
Don't be silly. There's no way I could end up sleeping in the same bed with your friend Rich,
even if it's just sleeping.
Um. There's a slight problem with the vouchers. We didn't receive any in the mail. We won't be able to get from the airport to the hotel without paying $3.50 per person (which puts us $1.39 over budget) And the post office said they can't track them. AAAAIIIGGGHH!
I bet the post office people KEPT the vouchers and are planning to try to steal our trip from us. BASTARDS! Thats it. I wasn't gonna do it, but I'm packing my brass knuckles and I'm going to Vegas ready to whop some postal ass! No no, don't try to stop me. Even the uncontrollable ire of MR. FURIOUS cant compare with the seething anger and VIOLENT intentions this little mistake of the lost vouchers is fostering in me.
Hello????? Why didn't anyone call me? I had the vouchers. I thought we all got three of all the vouchers.
more random bets that only Vegas bookies take:
-Dan gets a job outside of DC, ever (12:1)
-Ormond calms down without the effects of pharmaceuticals (50:1)
-Donna answers this email (7:5)
-Julie gets married before ormond gets married (20:1)
-Julie marries a concrete worker before Ormond gets married (20:1)
-Julie marries Ormond the concrete worker (20:1)
-Kelly gets married on the day she is planning (3:1)
-Michelle stays in SF more than a year (7:1)
-Pete quits his shitty job *and* moves out of Boston in the next 12 months(even money)
-Paul and Amanda get married after 1 divorce apiece (5:2)
-Richard Nixon is not really dead (3:1)
-Elvis is not really dead (3:2)
-Richard Nixon is Elvis (2:1)
place your bets
Anyone for Vegas?
Would you like some vegas with that?
Vegas, rinse, repeat.
Its all fun and games until somebody loses a Vegas.
When the going gets tough, the tough gets Vegas.
One small step for vegas, one giant leap for vegaskind.
Everbody in vegas.
Oh vegas, vegas, where for art thou vegas?
a thousand points of vegas.
loose lips sink vegas.
99 bottles of vegas on the wall, 99 bottles of vegas...
Did somebody say las vegas?
Pete, tell julie that i am working too hard to talk to her at least until friday, when she can punch me in the arm and then kick my ass, and we can all get drunk
and by the way, do you think donna can tell what i am thinking about her... NOW!
eww, that's dirty.
....we all get in and then we all go hang out in the toilet. just like old times- maybe we won't get locked in this time
oh, don't see very bad things- reason #1 very bad movie reason #2: you won't want to ever hang out in a vegas hotel bathroom ever again
Very Bad Things was one of, if not the, most Very Bad Movies ever made. I felt dehumanized after I saw it.
But hanging out in toilets is good. It'll be like junior high! Michelle, you bring the big can of aqua net, Donna, you bring the cigarettes. We can talk about Judy Bloom books, and make fun of the stink coming from the boys bathroom.
